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When it comes to trashy reality tv Bad Girls Club takes the cake. If you love trashy reality shows which make you question whether our society is evolving or devolving you will love this series.

We love to watch this series because it gives us a chance to feel superior and serves as a cautionary tale for us. For us the show is like Beyond Scared Straight. We watch it because it gives us an opportunity to see the type of bad decisions we should avoid. We also kind of love the Lord of the Flies element of the series.

The only problem with the Bad Girls Club (besides the fact that the series undermines everything feminism is trying to achieve by presenting women as petty, backstabbing, creatures who are emotionally unstable ) is it is only worth if the girls are actually bad enough. The casting on this show is critical. If a girls are not bad enough, not committed to engaging in deviant behavior, then the whole show falls apart.

Here are the five criteria we use to determine if the season of Bad Girls Club is worth watching (i.e. if the girls selected for the Bad Girls Club are bad enough to justify DVR space):

1. Is the opening sequence of The Bad Girls Club a fight scene and is it followed to a flashback to the girls arrival- i.e. is the entire first episode building up to a big fight

2. Is a girl kicked out for fighting or sent to a hotel to “cool down”?

If a girl does not get kicked out for fighting or sent to a hotel, the entire cast is in question. 7 Self-proclaim Bad Girls should not be able to survive in a house together and get along for more than an episode.

This is not The Real World, if the girls are truly bad they should “stop being polite and start getting real” in less than one episode. For Bad Girls getting real means a full out fight which results in a departure.

Bonus Factor: Cops have to be called as a result of the fight. 

3. Does a girl crack under pressure and leave? If a girl is considering leaving that is not enough.

If a bad girl leaves within the first episode, giving up on her dreams of reality star fame and knowing she will be shamed by Perez Hilton at The Bad Girls club reunion for not being bad enough and leaving early, then it’s a pretty good sign the remaining girls are bad enough.

4. Does some girl feel a need to say “this is the Bad Girls Club” or does a girl in the house proclaim she runs the house?

In addition, we also consider if a girl is labeled a follower by her fellow cast mate(s). If a girl is labeled a follower than means cliques are forming. If cliques form quickly on The Bad Girls Club it is usually a good sign since it normally leads to all out war for power between the opposing cliques.

5. Does one of the Bad Girls Club cast member use the classic reality phrase “I’m not here to make friends.” Extra points if they follow up with the phrase “This is the Bad Girls Club.” 

We look at the totality of the circumstances which occur in the first episode looking at these five factors and determine if the bad girls are bad enough to stay on our DVR.

If one of these five factors are not present we develop a presumption that the season is not worth watching.

This is a presumption that may be overcome if a Bad Girl is exiled from the house, fights her way out of the house or is arrested, if there is more than 2 replacements brought in midseason, or if a replacement Bad Girls Club cast member is exiled or fights her way out.

Bad Girls Club premieres tonight on Oxygen at 10/9c